Wednesday, May 21, 2008
11:33 AM
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I'm starting to... No, probably alrdy disliking group meeting with the rest of the girls. Somehow, they always make me feel that I dont do enough. I'm probably super lazy.. but I'm not stupid. 1 of the girls.. is really dominating. She decides wad each ppl in the group does. I'm given most of the junky part of the project. For example, Timesheet. I HATE doin that. But if it's a small scale, I can press my teeth tgt tightly and let it pass. This current proj we're doing on, it's definately nt small scale. It's a 2 mths long proj.. whic would require abt 10 meeting minutes!!
That.. has infact spoilt most of my mood to study for the test tmr. I may b the least intelligent of the 3 girls.. but tt doesnt mean I'm nt intelligent at all! I know I need guidance as well, but when I get it, I always try to do my best!
But she didnt give me a chance. For the timesheet, I could squeeze out all my brain juice to do a tougher part of the project. It's not a different part to do, but I just duno how to crap. Since learning how to write a simple 1, prob in sec sch, I alrdy dislike it. Too bad... for this current time of the day, I alrdy did half of it. So I'm not going to give up my brainjuice for it anymore.
I just need to whine/complain/be grouchy abt it.
Somehow, this reminded me of a backstabber incident whic I encountered since my 1st yr in Perth. Things may b cleared since... but I could nv trust again. I was really naive. Thinking any1, every1 could be like my sec sch frens n poly frens. Where there was no discriminating, no bias-ness. We stood tgt no matter wad.
I think abt myself over the last 2.5 yrs since coming to Perth. When I had problems, who I could turn to n tok to. The only person was probably Calynn.. she was the only soul I knew when I came to Perth, knowing no1. I rem going to her whenever I needed some1 to tok to. When I felt lonely... i even asked to sleep with her on the squeezy single bed. She allowed too.
Over 2 yrs alrdy... she has graduated n moved out of the current hse I'm still staying in Holder street. Junqi has prob taken over this companionship she used to provide me with. But I still dun feel that he understds enough.
Drift.
But Calynn... since she was with Clement, I feel the drift between us alrdy. I dun dislike Clem in any way. But incidents n when planning of meetings, she had made it clear tt Clem will be there always. Peiling, a sec sch fren I used to be so close to, just told me. A fren will always be a fren. But i really hate to see frens drift. Ppl I trust so so much, no matter the distance, to actually be so difficult to talk to now.
My sec sch frens, Peiling Geraldine Jiafang Tingjun Shirley, the only person I talk to now, is Shirley. But she nt usually ard. It's difficult for us to share anything with each other nowadays. But she's a fren that I really really wan to keep. For good. Poly girls, all busy with work n bf. They dun come online much.. just like Shir. And it's difficult for me to always keep up n call them from over the miles.
Junqi... I said earlier, he may prob have taken over the companionship. But sometimes... he adds on to my emptyness. I know if I'm ever without him here, I will feel as if I'm the only person in the world. I still feel that I dont know him enough.. no matter how long we knew each other before this bgr. When I liked him so very much that he's so different from other guys, he's actually not. I complain and whine abt anything that makes me upset. But he has no comments.. no nth to comfort me abt. Since he went to Uni at 2pm, I wandered from his room, to my room.. n back n forth. I was abit lost. I didnt feel like doing anything.
Ppl I could really turn to now.. is practically zero. I only hang out with a grp of girls fr chem eng. If i have any problems with them, who can I tell, who can understd? If I have rship problems, who can i turn to too? When i used to turn to Shir n the poly girls so much..
Sometimes, jus sometimes, I'm slightly glad that the landlord's family is at hm. When they make noise, at least I know there's ppl in the hse.
I'm a very Human person. I need ppl ard me. If I'm the guy from I am Legend, I rather die. I depend on ppl, life ard me to be alive. I get affected by things/ people easily. I'm emotionally very weak. But I dun like to appear weak infront of others. I dun like ppl to know my emotion. I think alot. Coz my brain wont stop thinking. Every second, it could be thinking of different random stuff.
I'm emotional now. Prob pms-ing. But here n there when my mind wanders off, all the thoughts I typed above, are those that ever came to my mind b4.
you make my life perfect-`
Friday, May 16, 2008
7:29 PM
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Havent blog for nearly 2 months now. Been so super duper lazy... n pretty busy.
I said I will continue the Freo outing.. I didnt. Haha.. so freaking lazy to post pics too!
I took this pic! Arty....
Sunsets always looks so good.
From since last or last 2 blog, our collection of fighting fishes has increased to 4. 1 died thou... but amt still adds to up 4.
Aft having Flappy, Junqi wanted 2 more fighting fish to see them fight. Cruel I know. But it's only aft they fought, that we gt heartache. Butter lost.. pretty much fins were bitten off. But I think they look they prettiest when they fought.
Some time later when we went to the same shop to buy the fake plants in the tank, we saw the red fish. It was so pretty... we felt we had to get it. Heh. Named it Roe. Coz we passed by Roe highway on the way to the shop... and also fish roe, is red too!
Butter, Bruice, Flappy, Roe.
The 2 double tanks in full view. Directly above Junqi's table.
It's 2 more weeks of uni left for me. Coz there's totally NO exams this sem. Yippy!! I hope can score alot better thou... so as to improve the overall grade. It'll be a really busy week next week, with 2 tests and a pretty major combine proj to complete. This is prob the 2nd of such week in this sem.
Tiger Airways tickets are at sg$470 currently... to Perth. So Dad n Mum are coming by the end of June! YEAH! I'm really excited abt it.. juz like the last time when Mum was here. It's even better coz Dad can come as well this time. Junqi's mum is also coming ard tt time. Hope she would fly on the same flight with Mum n Dad. So all 5 of us can tour ard Perth tgt. Tt would be best. =)
I hope i'll be more motivated to blog the pics this time.
When Easter was over, there were still easter chocs in the supermarket. I was thrilled! For the last 2 yrs I was here, they didnt continue selling the chocs. They became from 25% off, to 50% off to 75% off!! There was this Lindt choc that came with the Lindt bunny. No matter how ugly Junqi think it is, I think it's supa dupa Cute!
Thus.... he bullies it! >:(
The eeyore he gave to me n the Lindt bunny.
My toys collection on the corner of my bed, from Perth Royal Show and given.
He insist on not taking a proper pic with the bunny.
Am still working in Coles bakery... Am still a student. Am a hsewife.. & his gf.
you make my life perfect-`