Tuesday, January 31, 2006
3:11 PM
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Hey... Been awhile since I updated my blog.
HAPPY CNY to all~!!
Wonderful New yr this time round. Collected more ang baos den I did during the past few yrs. Food may not be as much as before. But it's probably a good thing. Lesser food... means lesser fats. Hah!
Went around visiting for all the 3 days. Got hm pretty early everyday too.
But I've been out for the past 2 nites. Also not excluding tonite. The best part is.. Tmr is still a holiday to me! Hoho. N for the rest of next week. Till I say farewell on next Sat.
It's such a good time to have so much food n fun. Till I can forget tt I'm leavin on next Sat. Went to the airport with him last nite too. Walked ard.. lookin at departure hall, the arrival hall, viewing gallery, blah. Did not even felt a lil' bit of saddness. But I can predict tt I'll cry on tt very day itself or perharps.. the nite b4.
Wat the best part of this new yr? A great news. I'm the "choosen" 1. Very surprised. Took me awhile to recover from shock. Did not wan to appear happy. Wanted to make sure ir wasnt a joke n he's damn damn sure.
He told me tt he actually already made his choice last week. But did not wan to reveal 1st coz he wanted to b sure tt he'll not wan her back. Woooo!
Even his attitude last week, it was like a 'test'. Sounds stupid. But nvm tt.
I'm the Official 1 now! Nothing else should I be bothered with. All I wan to say is... Pls wait for me. U said U will... I'll also come back as often as I can. It will be a tough road for us to move on. But no matter wat, We got to try. =)
you make my life perfect-`
Friday, January 27, 2006
11:25 PM
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Been real good at work! Hah. It's fri.. n it has been such a relaxing week. So every1's in a hyped up mood. Heh. Love it.
Started slacking by 3pm. I've been sleeping on the office table for the past 3 days already. Haha. Dinner break oso became from 5pm.. to as early as 4.15pm. Had pizza today! The Billing Department staff got it for me. As a farewell... Touched. Bought me a winter jacket too. Didnt expect for a gift like tt... But Thanx anyway.. Billing staff, Yiting & Kenneth. =)
Work ended much earlier too. Time passed faster. Worked there for 6 months already.. Getting used to going to work every morning. But so glad to be over too. Heh.
Didnt contact him much today. Only for basic questions.
"Will u be hm tonite?", "Do i come over?" "Shld be.", "Ya."
But we kinda did settle the arguement for last nite. Simple.. Just... Ignore... It.
I'm more cool.. more relax now too. Think it thru. Whether I can control how i feel & do wat I plan... We'll see.
Sis show me attitude again. Sad. She's been scolding me alot. Duno wat's wrong too. Mum just say "She's stressed up with work." Short & sweet. Arghh.
Good & Bad comes together now. I'm just cooling off. Being myself. Do watever i wan without thinking. Play... Have fun. Laughs. Joy is all I need now.
Cheers. =)
you make my life perfect-`
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Restless... I'm so exhausted already. Cant sleep well. I tot I could just end it last nite. Too weak.. Too much "cant bear to".
Heard from Ben some things. Made me feel stupid. Wrong to be too nice? I am nice. Is tt a fault? "Humans like to take things for granted. It's only when they lose it, den they'll feel the pain."
True.
It's not easy for me to end a relationship. But his attitude made it easier. Hurts me real badly. But wat can i say.. it's not the 1st time.
It's the last day of work for me. Not a gd day to end with all my problems hanging.
Am I going to miss the guys there... I think so.
Thanx Shirley, for always being there for me.
Thanx Siping, for always listening to me & killing my boredom at work.
Thanx Charles, for making me wiser.
Thanx Ben, for understanding my pain & allowing me see the clearer view.
Pardon me for being so emo. I'll get better. I cant be in this stage too in 2 weeks time. School is starting. Need concentration.
Feeling Nostalgic.
I need more rest.
you make my life perfect-`
Thursday, January 26, 2006
12:08 AM
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Actually, work isnt as bad anymore. In fact, gettin alot better. Probably cause I'm leaving already... Or maybe.. request forms r getting so much lesser. Hah.
It was fun being with the guys down at Doctorslab also. Esp today i think. We have been ending work by 3pm this week. Usually... 4pm is early already.
At nite, it was even better.. Finished at 7.. n i left by 7.15pm. Took Hairi's bike down to town. The last time i exactly sat a bike for long dist, was like 5 yrs back! But the feeling was still much fun.
Him again. Mr Missing. His new nick. Esp during sch days. He can disappear the whole day. Only at nite tt i hear from him. R we drifting? Or issit just me?
I dont feel like continuing it. Very tiring! So sick of not able to contact him.. gettin used to it.
What happens to U in life, it's Not by Chance. It's a Choice.
So many things Not settled. My laptop screwed up too. Wireless connection cant b connected. Wat's tt? Need to get sum professional help. I'm a Computer Idiot!
Sis been so irritatable too. Didnt talk to her in days. Only scoldings n quarrels.
Problems r Not settled. Other's too. Isnt tt so tiring too?
I'm Exhausted. Give me a Break. Get Over It. Be Problem FREE!!
PS... All in purple... Problems to b settled.
you make my life perfect-`
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
12:34 AM
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Been thru a boring day at work. Finished everything so fast. End up.. doing odd jobs or slacking ard. Hah. Good way of gettin paid thou.
Evette... Always troubled by relationship problems. Nv seem to b able to settle down in a real, fixed 1. Problem? The guy she's with.
I mean... How sick is tt. I'm tired. Hates Mr Indecisive & the LiarLiar. I know it has to end. It's only tt y cant i do it... Only allowing it to drag.
He's avoiding. Me too. She doesnt know anything. Is tt a blessing in disguise?
Give up? Try again? Interesting conversation with Charles. I havent know him for a long time yet. But we r going so indept into my personal life. I could actually confide in him.. Get advices n think. Is tt the advantage of being older? Haha. Perhaps.
I'm Limbo-ed?
limbo
1: the state of being disregarded or forgotten [syn: oblivion] 2: an imaginary place for lost or neglected things 3: (theology) in Roman Catholicism, the place of unbaptized but innocent or righteous souls (such as infants and virtuous individuals)
- "the future aint impt if the present aint going well u know.."
- "how do u embrace the future when u cant let go of the past.. "
- "you dont need the best.. but at least someone who puts you in first place.."
----- All quoted from Charles.
It's pretty much true. I'm not concentratin anymore. Am I even thinking abt it?
Avoiding.
I think..... I'll end it. Give me time to think further. No regrets.
you make my life perfect-`
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
10:42 AM
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As the Days passes, the date that I'm leaving is getting nearer n nearer. Really cant bear to leave. Wan to spend my every moment with U. Feels lost without U by my side.
I Miss U.
Can I know ur decision soon? It has been a long wait. Give me enough time to get over if ur final ans is negative. =)
Speed of time is moving faster.
I'm late for work.. but still here typing this. hah. Smack me! (Havent been early since beginning of this yr anyway. *Grins*)
Shirley, Thanx for being there for me all the time. I love U, babe!
you make my life perfect-`
Sunday, January 22, 2006
11:59 PM
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Had nearly everything done today. Bought more winter clothings.. but more like just a long sleeve top. My Sis got most of them. Dad spent like $246 i think... on all the clothings from Cold wear. But Philips is going to sponser all that for my Sis anyway. Heh. It was definately guilt free when i tried them on n bought them almost immediately.
Before that, we all went down to Roxy at Pacific Plaza. There's that coat tt i love so much. N when they saw it... all they said was "It looks like a bathrobe." How could tt not piss me off at all. Disappointed. Wanted tt coat.. but it's so condemned. Saw all the common coats n jackets from Cold wear. I only wanted smth different from those I see out there. Anyway, I'll prob still get tt piece I orginally wanted. Or choose another design.. but from Roxy too. hah. I Love Roxy!
Spent so much on a laptop, 4 webcams n 2 thumbdrives. Bought 4 webcam... haha. 1 for my hm, 1 for myself when i go there, 1 for Calynn... n most imptly, the last for Xiaoxin. Will have to go down Funan again to get my optical mouse n some software tt came with my laptop. Den, I'll need to get Calynn 1 more webcam for her hse. Haha. So now.. every1's like using the same Logitech webcam with me. Cheapest I could find.
Fun time buying all the stuff. But i got frustrated too. Coz of the salesman!! Keep psychoing ppl. When dun wan to buy the 1 he intro... whic cost $2400, he just walked away. And another salesman came to serve me n my family. How attitude is tt!! Bad bad... den the new salesman, he took so long to load my laptop too... he was tryin to install sum things for me 1st before i bring it hm. He was trying to multi-task. But turned out SUPER INEFFICIENT. He served another Caucasian customer too. Toopid.
I was pretty in a rush... n all were taking their own sweet time. I showed really bad attitude too... Xiaoying n Andy was there too. Really thankful to Ant for choosing the laptop with me. He's a IT Engineer sorta. I'm a complete IT Idiot.
Went off fuming after the whole thing. Felt so frustrated yet so guilty. Bad Evette. Bad attitude. I'm sorry...
Oh yes... the best part of my laptop tt I've found out so far... is the wireless connection tt's already installed in my comp. Alrite! I can use it in Mac, coffeebean n the Airport.. while I'm still in Sg. Hehe.
Had some fun with the webcam just now. Xiaoxin installed his too. Spoke to the headset like talking on the phone. The cam may not be of the best quality. Not the clearest image u can get. But luckily, it's gd enough.. At least, I could catch his every feature. N my family's too... when I'm away. =)
you make my life perfect-`
Saturday, January 21, 2006
6:25 PM
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Woke up by the alarm again this morning. This time, woke up not for work. But to go down to the agency for students going overseas to study. It's actually an agency opened by a poly schmate of mine. Justin's parents. My Sis was under the same agency 4 yrs back den. And such coincedence.. for me to know the son of the boss too.
Everything was very much settled by this morning. Except.. prob my student visa.. whic will b doen for me by the agency. And my medical checkup. Whic i have to choose a date later on.
The Boss-tress of the agency said "Once y sign these 2 documents, u'll be confirmed in going down to study on 13Feb." I took a moment to read every detail on the pieces of paper. So soon. After this weekend, i'll only be left with 2 more weekends to go. Anxious, worried, excited, damn glad... n sad too. Felt nearly everything tt i could feel. Even anger too... in the beginning.. when i couldnt get exemption for Chemical Engineering. Due to my bad bad results. I dun wan to b studyin all 4 yrs on it juz to obtain a degree on tt... tt's y i changed course. Pissed!
But luckily, I heard tt i can actually be back on Chemical Engineering for my Masters.
If i do well for my Bachelor in Chem, i can even get exemption n do like.. 1 to 1.5 yrs to obtain my Masters in Chemical Engineering. I think tt's Cool too.. hah.
Was waiting for his call again. Called him. Know tt he's on the line with some1. Starhub to starhub, u will actually get this "call waiting" msg when the other party is on the line. I know who he's talking to. Sad.. anxoius again.. coz i was only waiting for the outcome.. since last nite.. sumthing was said n may happen.
But when i finally met him, he told me tt everything between him n her is fine again. Shit.. wad disappointment again. I think nobody can understd wad i'm talkin abt.. prob juz Shirley. I'm just so so so disappointment. I mean... i am just allowing myself to get used to it. Sumtimes.. made me feel so much like i'm played ard. But.. no choice. Only got myself to blame. I Love Him. I am really happy with him. But I know it's going to end. Deceiving myself now again.. call me a Stupid ger! =)
Wad's going to happen in the end.. It's obvious. But there's this little light of hope tt something gd may come out from it. Anyways. every1 ard him.. knowing his situtaion. all supports Me. Hah.. Wad can I say. Even if in the end, I'm not the chosen 1, I still feels proud. ;)
My time left is so limited. I wan to make full use of my every moment with U. Do everything I can.. so I will not have any have any regrets when I leave.
Dream like I never dream before. Love like I never loved before. Feel n do the way I wan things to be.
Have PEACE...
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So Loved... Zen 19.1.2006
you make my life perfect-`
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Wonderful. I just started smth that i did not earlier on expected myself to start.. whic is this Blog. haha. All thanks to me leaving this sunny island to study in Aus, Perth. Yup... n very much Thanx to Shirley too. My babe started this 'Quite complicated to me' thing for me. =)
Many things changed. People, environment, situation n everything tt's happening in life. My life included. Been through too much ups n downs. Things tt made me frown all day... or things tt left me smiling all day. Too many things in the past tt i cant explain or tell now. I hope life can be much more smooth sailing than it should be.
I just got to know it today tt i can be exempted from studyin a year in Curtin.. whic means I'm left with 2 yrs. Bachelor of Science (Chemistry). I ever thought of taking Forensic Science. But was afraid tt i cant handle the gruesome-ness of the job... n i'll definately required to study 4 full yrs of the course. Too long... I'll miss home.
Only yesterday tt i got the acceptance letter from the Uni... So rush.. damn fast. I'll be leaving here in 3 more weeks time. So many things undone, unpacked, not settled n so many ppl to meet.
It was quite a good day today... I could say. Though Siping wasnt ard at work with me. Work.. to think abt it, i rather glad to be quitting on next fri. *Grins*
Wasnt upset over anything too. Mayb i've learnt to take it easy. Decided on smth tt will make me feel cool abt everything. Had a lil' disappointment when I couldnt get to see Him today. But it was much better when I got my Sis to do some short shopping with me after work. Last min's New Yr clothes shopping n a lil' stuff for my Aussie study.
Oh! I'm probably able to get the Roxy coat($109) whic I've been yearning for... for the past few weeks. Due to the my Sis' wonderful offer from Philips.
He told me smth just abt an hr back... whic made me really happy. But i hope it wasnt said nor happen on a moment of impulse. Makes wonders n hopes n thinks. Tmr.. he'll make his final decision. I'll wait patiently... n pray. But issit going to have a future? Wait & see.
A day too good to end.
you make my life perfect-`
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Shirley was here!
1.03am. 21st Jan 2005. Muacks. =)
you make my life perfect-`