Saturday, May 27, 2006
10:45 AM
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Been a week since I blogged. Many things happened this week.
Early the week.. Mum toked to the lady landlord. She agreed to many things whic her husband caused b4. She said from now on, anything we need, we'll let her know & wadever her husband wan us to know, she'll be the 1 tellin us instead. Tv's back in my room. A newer 1 it seems. Her husband actually charged me $48 for mid April to mid May house phone bills. Tt's maddness! The lady landlord then returns me $30.. cause I said tt I didnt use tt much. It's true! B4 this...me & Cal shared the hsephone with them. We add together, paying $36. Now I alone.. $48?? Tt's definately impossible.
Wadever it is... the hse is settled. We shld be stayin here for gd alrdy.. at least till Feb (when the 1 yr contract is over) hopefully...
No labs for this week. Yeah!! I was pretty free. Next week would be the last week of sch alrdy. 1 sem juz pass like tt. Pretty fast i guess... Then, study week.. n 2 weeks of exam period. Sigh... I'm scared. I really need to study! I've been scoring badly. Real badly. I feel so shit. Damn shit. Even now.. I've been slackin for 2 hrs since I woke up. I thought I woke up earlier to do my work?? Damn...
1 more thing... My Dear Gerald. It's been gd for us still... really lookin forward to me being back in Sg. We planned many things. But smth happened on Thurs nite (25.5.2006) tt made us both so upset & reminded of the past. Angela Ma. She went to look for him.
I was infact out tt nite.. with Jeri & gang. 1st time I join them for thurs nite meetings. It went pretty well... & was getting back hm to talk to him. But only to find out he wasnt hm.
Wad happened was... Ben lied to him tt he was upset over his gf. Gerald went down to accompany him.. Only to find out tt it's Angela below his hse. Much shoutings.. cry.. frustrations.. worries.. blahz.. occured. In the end, Gerald's still mine.
Angela lied. Sayin I msg her stuff.. but me & her v last contact was when I was 1st week here in Perth.. the v last emailed, was her to me. I did not reply. She make up stories.. nt the 1st time. Ever tried backstabbin Gerald.. She told me smth tt Gerald either wasnt intendin to tell me or havent told me. Hoping tt we'll quarrel I guess...
Whatever it is.. Those r over.. over for gd? I hope. It really hurts to keep seeing this happening. Does this prove me & Gerald love to b stronger? I think so...
Love hurts. It makes ppl do the unpredictable. It's evil.. but born in Heaven. Contridicting? Naturally good.. but becomes bad when it dont turn out the way we would wan things to be.
Oh.. I've been out shopping alot. Looking for thingys for my Love 1s.. Spent alot. My mum's gonna kill me. Tt's y I NEED to work next sem. I bought another boots. I know we wont wear them in Sg... But I'll wear them for the next 1.5 yrs left here. Love them to bits! But with guilt. Hee.
I need to study. Everytime I mention. But I dun do it as much as I Need, Have, Hope to.
~ Shooed to the books!
you make my life perfect-`
Thursday, May 18, 2006
10:02 PM
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Things to do before going home to Singapore:
1. Study hard.. damn hard!
I wanna get mostly credits... some distinction if possible. Please please please... I NEED TO B MORE HARDWORKING.
2. Lose weight.. all the fats on my face, arms n tummy. YUCKS! Look at all my fats. They r ugly. lumpy & disgusting. How to face Gerald man... =(
At least go back to what I was b4 I came...
3. Find a new Home in Perth.
I need a new place to stay. This certain hse in Dumond St is not even confirm. Sigh.
4. Pack my stuff... need to buy alot of things. Missing home. Cant wait for 25th June!
you make my life perfect-`
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
12:59 PM
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Kinda gt a new place when Jeri called me on Fri... sayin that she saw an adver on the Notice board at Karawara Shoppin Center. Saw the pics... den the hse. The hse of coz.. as usual... dont look as well as wad is shown on the pictures. There's still some1 stayin in that hse. so it's kinda messy. But overall was fine. We guess it's gona b fine. We decide to get the hse alrdy... But pp work's nt done. Nothing. And, what if the owner dont like us... they may not even wan to rent it to us anymore. *shrugs* See how things goes. But we r really looking forward to having a place of our own. =)
Days or weeks b4... I wanted to blog on Genuine & Fake ppl. I think I've been meetin alot here... whic I'm nt sure belongs to whic catorgory. The 1st few weeks in school, mayb till 1st 2 mths, I was afraid. I was wary of the ppl & surroundings ard me. I notice the hypocrites, fakes, acts, real nice, try to b nice, so so many kind here. It's scary. When a person who always gives u attitude... suddenly becomes nice. Y so? Wont u think he/she is up to smth? Wan a favour fr u? Or simply realises tt he/she attitude isnt gaining himself/herself any frens nor help anymore? Arrogance!
I believe there r ppl who r like me... wary of everything ard them. Like how babies cries at every unfarmiliar sight, smell, touch. A way of protesting. Like how I cry so much infront of Gerald when I so dun like this place initially.
I'm beginning to live with it. Opening my eyes bigger... and noticing the Genuine 1s.
U noe cute guys n gers in Perth? I havent been much noticing them. The few I've seen beginning of the Sem.. remains as the same few cute 1s. Hah. But more asians cute guys n gers r emerging. Sumhow.. sumwhere.
When I start smiling over the conversation I just had with my own labelled "cute" guy, I think abt my commitments. Cheating is smth not impossible for me... but hardly possible too. I cant bear to do it.. esp if I'm so in love with my current partner & when I see a future. It's in me. No1 thus far... has made me even felt fickle abt my feelings towards Gerald.
I hope things between us will still b as well. Tt no1 comes between us... no lost of feelings. I still do afraid of losing him.
I yearns for his hug.
~for the kiss.
~for that touch.
you make my life perfect-`
Thursday, May 11, 2006
10:35 PM
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Gonna be homeless soon. Me & Cal typed tt letter, we passed it to him. He returned us with a letter this morning.. to ask us to move out. Asking Nick, our the other hsemate to move out too. We were surprised. Y him? Me & Cal were the 1s who caused trouble.
We went to Nick and asked him.. he said Shayne, the shitty landlord, said that himself & the wife have problems. Family problems. It's like they r splitting up or smth. So weird. I duno.. talked to Nick.. and he refuse to tell us wad happened. He said mostly not due to us tt we have to move. But.. I asked him further abt wad the wife said abt us.. he said alil. But not much.. like we were always going against the contract. Wadever it is... too long to explain. But I didnt like the way Nick talked. He was sidin them too much...
Hope that me & Cal will be lucky enough to find a place near to sch n have 2 rooms available. We called 2 so far.. and they both only have 1 room left. Get more luck tmr... on searchin for right houses. Things like this makes me appreciate home even more. I dun like to go into the realistic world. Like to stay in my comfort zone.. but of cause tt's no good. BUT.. if only ppl can choose.
Today is my last lab for Physical Chem 201! Heh.. I shld be happy. Coz next Fri.. Organic Chem lab will be the last too. But... now i feel there's still so much to do. I wan some comfort.
I need a hug~ I miss home.. where my comfort zone is.
you make my life perfect-`
Monday, May 08, 2006
3:19 PM
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PAP won. No more to say... Life as normal. Yawns.
I'm happy today. Feels so cheery. I love seeing those red leaves on the trees.. and as I walk pass them, the leaves fall. It makes me Smile. The weather's good! Walking hm is no longer a chore. I'm actually happy tt I'm on the way hm! Love it when the days passes... which means I'm a day closer to home again. =)
The tress r turnin red... the creeplers (however u spell it) on the library walls r all red... soon they will all fall. It's such lovely sight!
Alot of lab reports to do still... Gt 1 tt I've to hand up on Thurs. I'm not even half done on tt. Dragged past the whole 2 weeks of easter break. Duno how to do! Argghh! But nvm... 3 more weeks & labs for this sem will soon be history! *grins*
Yest... shayne, the fussy & stingy china man landlord of the hse I'm currently staying, pick on things abt me & Cal again!!
1. RULES : To all hsemates. Pls keep quiet from late nite 11pm.
Do not use the washing machine.
Do not use the hairdryer.
Do not on the tv/radio to high volume.
Do not talk loudly.
2. The washing machine. He complained tt we are wasting water. He thinks tt we shld dump all our clothes together. Reason being :(shayne talking) We all just throw into the same washing machine. Wash long wont stain alrdy.
But U noe wad... their clothes.. the colour's either off or white 1 look dirty.
Me & Cal seperate the white & coloured clothes when washing.
1stly, afraid tt coloured clothes will stain the white.
2ndly, dun like the black hair fr black clothes to stuck to the white & the white to the black.
3. Started making examples with the shower. Gave me a funny theory. When u leave the shower on for 1 min, it can fill up to 1 bucket of water. So if u bathe for 30mins, it's b 30 buckets full. -_- I just said ok.
4. A knock on my room door. Shayne *&$#&^%$TV$&%. He walked into my room. The reason for those *&$#&^%$TV$&%, is cause.. I dun understd wad he's talking abt. I mostly dont. His cheena... too fast... gt cheena slang. His Eng.. How can Chinaman speak gd eng?? They do.. but this 1 dun. So I dun understd too.
He did action... tt's when I actually understds. In his hse, if he's communicating to me, I'll only understd it when it has alrdy happens... He wanted the TV fr my room. He put it there ever since I moved in. Wad he actually said at the room door was "I wan the TV back.. coz I need it now. Tt time when u move in, I told ur parents I temporarily put it in my room." So Gone.. TV's gone. He did mention b4 tt we can have the TV. Damn.. bloody ass.. he took away my(our) new-found entertainment! He is damn stingy! Muz b coz his water bills high... he blame us on it. So off the TV.. so his elect bills wont b high. But come on.. How often do I watch tv here??
5. While in my room... he noticed my heater. I bought tt... he couldnt provide. Wadever.. it isnt tt ex. He said mine wasnt safe. If so, y do ppl sell it??? There r lots of heater out there. If this is bad.. it'll b unbought n chuck n ppl's hse r all burnt! Mine do have a trip safety system. If nt in original position, it'll of itself...! Damn it.
N.... to use the heater, we will have to pay extra $10. Another theory/ reason given: We dont use it. Not cold not cold. (bu leng de, bu leng de) We dun even use it..
Come on... who cares tt U dun use it. We feel cold. R u our body?? Damn it. FUSSY STINGY UGLY CHINA MAN!!
I DUN LIKE CHINA MAN!! Any1 I told abt this incident.. they'll b like.. "OH... no wonder. CHINA MAN v stingy 1." Yes... some singaporeans made tt comment. But some non-singaporeans made tt comment too. It is world wide known isnt it? Tt china ppl r fussy & super stingy... China Man makes it obvious.
I am Countrist! U noe racists? I'm chinese too... so how can I b racist.. i might kill myself. Countrist.. coz I dun like CHINA PPL. Any nice China ppl out there? Come n know me to prove me wrong.
Now.. my Darling, Gerald. Ever since his fren's bday party on Sat nite, He's been really possesive. Frens tell him tt he shld "Kan(4) Jing(3)" me more.. I club & have lots of guy frens... r gers to becareful of. But no... close frens noe tt I'm super faithful! I was quite piss at 1st... coz he was even angry over some dog pics (details I shldnt go into). Took me a day or 2 to get used to it. But to think abt it.. it may nt b such a bad thing rite.. I love him alot. Tt makes me sure he feels the same way. At least he cares. *blush*
you make my life perfect-`
Saturday, May 06, 2006
12:31 PM
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Alrite... the Election in Singapore.
PAP vs Workers' Party
It's gonna be more interesting this yr. All abt politics. It seems tt the ppl r no longer satisfied abt the current government anymore.
GST going up fr 5% to 7%.. mayb. If tt's the case, GST is increasing 4% within 2-3 yrs? In 10 yrs time how?? 20%?? Maddness.
Bus fares too.
PAP ppl get 5 digit sum every month.
Lesser job oppurtunities.
I realised in Perth.. even if u dun study Maths, Science & IT.. U can survive too. Jobs like waitress & nurses r very much treasured here in Perth. They get higher pays. Coz those r jobs tt ppl dun wanna do.. in Sg.. those jobs get pathetic pay.
Courses in Sg r limited too. Nt much choices U can do. Design, IT, Engineering, Science, Health, Business, Doc? Wad else? I duNo..
Exchange rate: Aus: 1.16? Sg: 1. But wat they earn in Aus is twice or any average earnings in Sg. But they r so much more relax here. I'm not criticising Sg. It's my home.. I still love there more than here. But y issit ppl here r so much more relax den in Sg... Our exchange rate is abt the same. But Aussies earn so much more.
If I'm a Chemist here.. I earn 3k as my starting pay. In Sg.. will I even get $2k? If not for my Tt Him... Working here is nt an impossibility.
Too naive am I? Correct me.
you make my life perfect-`
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Have been really lazy to blog. Sch was alil busier too. Coz i slacked the whole easter hols. I wan to study hard.. concentrate all on my studies. But can I really do tt....??
Was in a quarrel with Julian last nite. Me & Shir were tokin abt the past. It reminded me of some things. Julian. He made me do things tt I regret. And it affects now. Wont mention all... But 1 of it tt stills affects me is.. I told my Mum abt him. He wanted my Mum to noe.. to make things better for us. I was never serious when we 1st started. But his sincerities made me wan to get serious. I told my Mum.. den he started treating me bad alrdy. My gosh.. How i regretted.
It affects now as in.. coz it seems like so easy tt I get into 1 & so easy tt I break. It was like I wasnt serious abt my rship. But I am.. always am(of coz except Julian case). I just think & think.. gt so pissed. I scolded him & say many many things. He even asked if I'm drunk. Hahz. I've nv gt drunk b4.. will nt let myself get to tt stage.
Ok.. yah.. The point is.. I wan to let my Mum noe abt Gerald. I love him alot. But things to b well between us. Hope tt we can last long. For as long as I've known so far, we both thinks alike & wan tt to happen. I noe ppl r practical. In any sense. Every1 tells me "he's juz a young boy.. dun expect too much fr him." I know tt make sense.. to any of my frens(if they ever get into a Jie-Di lian), I may even b the 1 sayin tt. It's just like how ppl used to criticise Faye Wong & Nicholas Tse. But mine of coz much lesser age difference & lesser ppl objecting to it? Mayb. My Parents will object too. Whose parents wont wan their daughter to have a comparable age (guys older, gers younger theory), education and higher level of maturity( able to take care of their ger) from their Girl's partner.
I cant b 100% sure abt me & Gerald's rship. There's love.. But things can change.. like how my other rships ended. I so much wan to tell my Mum abt him.. but wad if smth happens? I'm scared.. I dunwan my parents to think I'm so simple towards my rships.
I've been feeling insecure. A call at 2am can make me think. Him staying at a fren hse due to 21st bday.. Tt fren I've nv heard b4. Doesnt this makes me suspect? He gt angry with me for tt. "If u dun trust me, forget it." He hung up. Is this the 3rd time it happens like tt alrdy? The quarrels aint tt bad.. But he always comes out with tt "break-up" stunt. Den.. things will happen like this: He says "Sorry... I dun mean tt" or "I dunwan to break". Of coz I'd rather hear him say tt than saying "Yes! I wan to break." But each time a quarrel happens, I get really affected.
We r fine again. As in.. a call.. talk properly.. No more breaks. But who can b sure tt wont happen again. I told him "If u ever wans to break with me, dun do it now, dun do it b4 my exams.. Not till 23rd june." I get affected alot in rships.. Now being here, I cant afford to b distracted in anything.
从你眼睛看见自己 最辛副的倒影
握在手心的默契 是明天的指引
無論是遠近 什麼世紀
在天堂擁抱 或荒野流離
偶尔我真得不懂你 又有谁真懂自己
往往兩個人多親密 是透過傷害來證明
像焦慮不安我就任性 怕泄漏你怕 所以你生氣
我愛你我敢去 未知的任何命運
哪裡都一起去
一起仰望星星 一起走出森林 一起品嘗回憶 一起吴会妒忌
一起雨过天晴 一起更懂自己 一起找到意义
我愛你 我不要沒有你
This blog cant have Chinese..
cong ni yan zong can jian zi ji (from ur eyes, I saw myself)
jui xin fu de dao ying (in the most fortunate shadow)
ou er wo bu dong ni (sometimes I dun understd U)
you you shui zhen dong ji zi (but who really does understds themselves)
wo ai ni.. wo kan qu wei zhi de ren he ming yun (I love U.. tt's y I dare to move on to an unknown future)
na li duo yi qi qu (Everywhere we go, we go together)
yi qi ying wang xin xin (watch the stars together)
yi qi ping chang hui yi (together we rem the past)
yi qi wu hui du ji (our misunderstds and the jealousy)
yi qi yu guo tian qing (together we get over the bad times)
yi qi gen dong ji zi (together we know ourselves better)
yi qi zhao dao yi yi (together we find the Meaning of Life)
Wo ai ni (I love U)
Wo bu yao mei you Ni (I dunwan to be without U)
you make my life perfect-`