Monday, November 05, 2007
4:25 PM
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U know how emotions can be affected by people as well?
Wad ppl say, ppl do, how ppl react to u. Esp if that person plays a part in ur life which matters. Such emotions can get really good. Yet such emotions can frustrates me alot. So much that I wish I could control it. I can get frustrated easily. That makes a really bad me, seriously.
Hate it when I mind so much of the every lil' thing some1 does. Hate it when I feel like crying so much when I feel strong xtreme emotions, i.e sad/ angry/ frustrated. It's good to control ur feelings. But I wont rather let them out.. of coz with some self-control.. so that things dun get too serious n regrets come later. But aft the whole thing... I'll always feel happier.
Somehow, these days, I start to realise why I would sing. Out of random reasons... whether studying, slacking, while dancing, blah.. It's coz I'm HAPPY. Any other emotions, I would be really quiet. No matter how bad my voice can be. Like y at times... I wan to go to the KTV, yet sometimes, I just dun feel like.
Havent gt much mood to study... Pushed myself to get that mood. Yet I dun wan to feel the stress. Sigh...
I asked myself... Why do I mind so much? I wan to not feel how I'm feeling. I dun like being weak. I wan to be in control of myself and not be easily affected by other sources. But it's so difficult. From Goong 2 the Korean drama, that evil man found out the weak point of the commoner prince. That has become my weakness too.
Work.
It's been good. Just slicing bread with the machine and packing. Pretty relax... and enjoying every aroma coming out from the bread and cakes. Gt a few cuts here n there. Not too sure where exactly they came from. But left my 2 poor hands with lots of tiny scars. Some of which... hurts.
Sat morning, this other lady, I forgt her name, ask me to label some 'best before' on the bread packs. Wanted to teach me but I told her I did it the day b4. So I knew how they work. Petra responded "Yea, she did it yest, didnt she?" Continued mumbling to the lady, "She's my Day Queen. Sandra would stand there n do nothing." Smiles. That made my day, really. I was determine to do better. It was a regconition. And then, I was LATE for work this morning! Cursed. Work start at 5am. Alarm set at 4.05am. It didnt ring!! I woke up by the phone call Petra made at 5.40am. Shocked! The alarm was still on thou. Angry! Reached by 6am.. Wasted 1hr Pay. -.-
Need to buck up so so much now!! For exams. For the other matter, trying/ hoping to suppress. I think alot. But I dun wan to be upset anymore. I really really mind alot. That also means the amt of importance....
you make my life perfect-`