Thursday, April 27, 2006
2:45 PM
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Back from diving. My 1st open water dive... at Bicton baths. Dun c anything much... only a starfish & plenty of puffers. Tt feeling.. was.. WONDERFUL. It was.. like.. amazing. U just simply think abt nothing else but being safe & looking ard.
B4 I even started diving, I was afraid of ear pressures. Like how I'll get it when I dive down only 1.5m to the bottom of the swimming pool. Today, I went down to 12m.. already learnt how to equalise the ears.. so they were no trouble. It was only my mask.. which I was afraid tt it might go out of place. I dun like water in my face. But all the underwater & surface skills, I did them! Felt good.. Tmr's going to Rockingham. Hope it'll be nicer in there. Today's, was juz plain brown surface.
It was 7 degrees this morning.. abt 8 degrees when I left home. So cold.. I felt real cold last nite too... It was freezing. I had to on my heater to full. I need to get use to these temperatures. Been raining. The clothes just wont dry. This afternoon looks good. But I think tmr's going to rain again...
I'll be lovin diving more & more. Need to study! So much work to do..... Bless me to feel studious tonite!
you make my life perfect-`
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
5:57 PM
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Been diving yest & today. Just the training I mean. Yest wasnt gd. Gt headache after the 1st part of the training. After the break, back to the training in the pool. It just some sort disappear... or mayb.. coz I was too concentrated in doin other things in there. I dislike tt mask clearing thing. When u have to fill up mask all with water. Den blowing bubbles into it again to push the water out. I dun like being blind in the water. When swimming.. I'll juz go back up the surface. But in dive, I've to remain under all along. And when the whole thing was over, headache comes back all over again. Nt gd. Made me felt so sick, so cold.. felt like puking. Dun feel lik eating dinner.. Tt lil panadol I took didnt work much too.
Till...
I had a really bad cry. He made me cry. We quarrelled... rather badly. He scolded me on many things. Things tt he didnt wan to tell me b4.. afraid tt I'll b upset. But he dun realise.. this time it's 10 times the blow.. of each thing tt I did whic he was unhappy with. He had nv scolded me tt badly b4. Nth whic lasted this long.. this hurting. There's a scar alrdy. All along.. he was different to me.. different fr other guys. Tt scolding... those complains.. is no different fr a typical guy. I admit.. I'm bad too. If I wasnt the one who started it all... none of it will happen. But he was given the chance to tell me b4 hand.. i asked him to.. But... THEN.. He had no complains..? He said nth all along...
This matter reminded me of Sebast.. How me & sebast broke up. Sebast kept everything to himself... n telling me only when he couldnt take it.. didnt like it. He put all the blame on me.. but I know.. he was being "flower-hearted" too. Attention fr a girl.. change all his feel for me. Watever.. doesnt matter anymore.. nt at all.
Darling... I know u've apologised.. U felt bad I guess. U werent kind. U know it. I forgave u abt it alrdy... ever since last nite. But I need time to forget. It hurts.. really. If nt for last nite, I would have nv tot u would react this way to me. I'm fine.. as long as we both still wan each other in our lifes. At least... we still think alike.
Alritey..
Today's dive training. Good! No headaches... N I could clear my mask alrdy! yeah... All fine n gd. More relax & fun too. The equipments r really heavy. Wet suits r too tight.. difficult to wear it up. But it was much better & easier today. Looking forward to the real dive on Thurs!
Hmmm... so much work to clear now. Lab reports... n so much studying. The whole hols.. I practically touched nth. Damn!
Got to b hardworking leh...
PS: The headache.. scientifically proven tt crying does help cure headache. Hmm.. forgt where I gt tt info from. But it works on me. =)
you make my life perfect-`
Sunday, April 23, 2006
3:17 PM
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Just came hm from driving. Oh well... I've improved! But guess wat.. I made the 1st serious mistake after 10 hrs of lessons I've been thru so far. I was suppose to stop n I press harder on the accelerator. HAHa.. gave me a gd thump on my chest & felt so shit after. I'm so sorry...!! It happens rite.... hahah. To learners.. I felt so bad.. coz it's Tanya's husband who took me today. Tanya.. my drivin instructor. Sorry... Tanya's hubby? I dun even noe his name.. I think, I just dun rem.
Yest.. I was out shopping again. Sinful!! I gt no money alrdy! & I'm still shopping. I wanted to get the $35 woollen coat I've seen a week back & to see if there's any bikini sales. It's gonna b winter. Nobody much wans to wear it.. but I can still wear it in sg. hehe.
Anwz.. I couldnt find the old 1 I wanted alrdy. Sold out! Was deciding b/t 2 designs actually. So.. gt the last piece of the other design did I did not actually wanted. But it's similar & nice too. So.. yah. hah. Calynn gt 1 there too.. like tt too. But last piece left. Furthermore, when think abt it, it looks quite similar to my black 1 anw.
Seriously, I tink I cant stop shoppin. How?? I like the clothes here.. It's rather different from sg's. Shopaholic! I have to stop shoppin alrdy. I wan to buy things back in June. But I dun have the money to alrdy. Bad me...
Tmr there's dive. Hope it'll b fun. My 1st lesson for the course. Actually, I hope there wont b dive on thurs & fri. Den I can have more time to study...
you make my life perfect-`
Friday, April 21, 2006
10:23 PM
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Warning : My blog is for ppl who r so free & gt nth to do. Coz I blog lesser now... so lots of things to type in here. Heh!
Hols always make me feel better. This is 1 of the reasons y I would rather b in sch den to work. Sch ppl is usually better n more fun den workin ppl. I said usually... not always thou. Hols.. u can actually do watever u wan, wat u choose to.. play, catch up with frens, sch work.. blahzz...
It was a pretty interesting week in fact. Did the groceries shopping on tues morning. We seem to have not done some marketing for some time alrdy. We went to a mall called park center... at vic park. Havent been there for more den 1 mth alrdy. Ever since Gerald came, we stop goin there. We juz bought our meat n veg fr other places. Dun rem where too.. but juz not there anymore. So this time round, we went there coz there's a big oriental shop there.
To cut whole story short... we bought so many things. Too many for us to carry at all. Struggled all the way to the bus stop, gt up the bus with difficulty n drop off. Happy tt we r reaching hm soon. Then, SMTH happen.....
*bong*
Calynn (walks in front): eh.. smth drop.
Eve (behind her..abt 1m away) : where gt?
Calynn (turns ard) : U drop the detergent la! HAHA
Eve (looks back) : oh.. hahah.. didnt c it.
Calynn Picks it up & place into 1 of her plastic bags. Walks on. 2 steps later.....
*bong bong*
Calynn laughs out. Tt detergent bag with sesame oil drops out.... detergent rolls to the road. Driver at round-about laughs at us. We couldnt stop laughin as well.
Gettin ready to move on... *blong blong* The 2 3L juice bottles drop out too. How lousy r the plastic bags here! 3 of them juz broke off like tt leaving their contents rolling on the floor. We stand still for like a min.. just laughin at how messed up we look. Hah.
Yea... after whic, I rush off to meet Jeri to pay for my dive course. I was actually hesistating to go. But nvm.. just go have fun. Gt back hm within an hr.... n within another hr, me n Cal was gettin ready to go out for 2 movie with timothy(my ex neighbour in sg). Watched "she's the man" & "scary movie 4". "She's the man"'s funny... but "scary movie" not nice la... waste money.
2 days back, went Carousel. Cal wanted to get her new hp line.. for cheaper ways n better plan to contact her frens. I dun really need tt... dun exactly contact any1 here. Just need a hsephone more.. so I can use it to call out or call back sg (mostly). Per call is more worth than hp's. But she forgt to bring an identification to prove where she stays... so we had to go back n get tt again.
I bought a dress there... quite impractical to get it now. Coz it's gonna be winter soon... tt's more like a summer dress. I need more winter clothes i think.. heh. She cut her hair too.. I didnt dare to try it here. heh.. Feel tt diff race.. cut for ppl.. style oso will different. And.. yah.. indeed. Her style didnt turn out well... the frindge was so straight n stiff.
Went hm.. n I did sum trimming for her. Hah. I couldnt believe I actually cut quite abit of her hair. Did change the whole style of tt funny fringe. Not pro enough.. but enough to make her look better. Hee.
It's gettin interesting here at times. U get to do everything on ur own.. me n cal can even throw away food tt we cant stand eating anymore.. leave the fridge open while we take out all the contents till we r satisfied.. poke at the ice cream in the ice cream tub and "carve" our name on it den throw all our fav chocs inside, mix them together n eat it cold n hard! hahha... Caution: Doing all of the above will cause serious scoldings fr MUMs.
We can in fact do alot of stupid things together. Crazy things tt makes us laugh like mad.. behaves like mad, complains the landlord like mad.. shops like mad too. Thou we noe we've gt not enough money. hah. At the same time.. we bicker alot. Till both gets so piss with each other. Disagreements.. Conflicts. But things r gettin better.. I think all along, we r fine with each other. Here & there...
Gerald... I need alot of attention from him. Not as much as an average ger while bf n her still in same country. If u noe wat i mean... We dun see each other for real now.. only virtual. The 2D moving face on webcam. Have to tok to him everynite.. n when i websms him, I wan him to reply me asap. He can still choose to go out.. but must b reachable... Cal keeps remindin me, I'm in Perth. He's in Sg. There's not much I can do.. so I gt to like.. relax n let him free. I am.. But if smth's goin to happen to us now, seriously.. it'll affect my studies alot. I admit.. Rship does affect me lots.
He's cute.. I'm happy. But he still pisses me off at times by nt replying n going out too much.. includin his dances. He's full of ideas n ways to make me happy. We r playing "who wans to b a millionaire now" using our knowlegde on alcoholic drinks alcohol %. Hah.
So tired... I still didnt study. Shitz... There'll be dive training next week. And i'll have even lesser time alrdy. Lazy me!
you make my life perfect-`
Monday, April 17, 2006
11:54 PM
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Ever since Gd Friday, I seriously havent been studying. Was slackin at home for Fri, Sun & Mon.. other than goin for my drivin lessons. Sat.. went out with a bunch of girls. It did made me feel better n less lonely. Previously.. I guess I just had to find the correct ppl to clique ard with.
Over the weekends, I did think abt some stuff. Like... how real ppl were.. wat I have actually seen n heard, r they the truth to wat they shows... who can I really trust...
When u actually look at things on both sides, the other side whic u didnt c b4, wasnt exactly as bad as u thought initially. It's weird, really. It's scary.
Today, Tanya, my drivin instructor, told me tt I'm learnt all tt I shld noe alrdy. Now I'm just left with more practising. I'm glad! Coz I may b able to do my drivin test by early June.. I hope.
Tmr I dun think I can study still. Gt to do groceries shopping, pay the for the dive course and go for movies with Timo n Cal. We havent been to the movies for a long time alrdy. The last time was the 1st week when we were here... when my parents were still here.
It's so cold nowadays. 9 degrees currently... my feet r freezing. Luckily, Gerald left me his long pants when he left. He left me 1 of his long sleeve tops too.. so I can wear them to sleep. I miss U!
The days r passing quite fast. But when I look back, it's only Monday. So it's oso not tt fast after all. When it gets so cold, n quiet, I really miss him badly. Long dist rship r really not easy. Not juz the dist n feel for each other tt may cause us to drift. But oso the "nt able to c each other" feeling. If there is no webcam, I dun think we MAY even last.. it'll b a "we wont last". Coz we cant c each other, I make it a point tt he must tok to me every nite. Tt's nt too demandin rite... at least for the rest of the days.. till weeks n mths, he can always do watever he likes. Just tt he gt to b hm at nite to tok to me.. or in the morning when he gt no sch.
Sis is flyin off again in the morning. Wish tt she has a safe flight. She's off to Shenzhen for work again. This time.. prob just a week. She's like used to being alone... ever since she went to QUT to study. I cant b lonely. dun like tt feeling... but Sis been doin tt prob for yrs alrdy. I noe she dun like it. But now tt I'm nt ard, I guess... she's even more lonely. But when I was hm, I dun spend much time with her too.. coz I'm out so much. I miss Sis n Xy too... Wan to go swim, shop n watch movies with them. We havent been doin tt for a long time alrdy...
Come on... I still MISSES HM ALOT!!!
you make my life perfect-`
Thursday, April 13, 2006
7:35 PM
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It's nearly a week since he left. I still cant get used to it. Rems all the "last week". Like.. last Mon, when I finish class, he'll be bringing lunch for me after sch, eat together den goes out. same for tues. Last wed, he would be up already to prepare to go sch with me. My 2 hrs of break, always have him accompanying me. On thurs, I'll rush hm after the 8-10am lecture, to get home to catch a lil more slp with him still slpin. Den wake to make some lunch. And off to lab at 12.. n he'll will come n pick me home fr sch after tt. On fri's lab, it'll be the same thing.
This is how i spend my 1st term of this 1st sem in curtin. Everyday is just him. Weekends... i'll plan to go out so he wont feel bored. Sometimes.. juz slack at hm. Sigh... how i miss those days.
This week of sch.. also passed quite fast. Couldnt sleep much. Coz the bed becomes so empty n cold. No more warmth from his body heat... No more "squeeziness" of the bed.
I'm so into him!! I'm like so obsessed with him! I'm in love... deeply in love. Stop stOP STOP.
It's Good Friday tmr! Yeah... 1st hol in Perth. Seems like a long while. I've actually been schling for 7 weeks already. After these 2 weeks of hols.. another 5 weeks of sch n it'll be exams already. Cant wait!
I'm like prepared to be going hm in June. But mum still nt aware of my plans n tt I wan to go hm. Thinking of lettin Mum noe abt him too.. but sis dun encourage much on it.
Planning to go ard Perth.. study alot alot. Like so much things to do.. but still doin nth now. Wan exams to come soon.. but afraid at the same time...
Sigh... Make Me Smarter & More Hardworking!
you make my life perfect-`
Saturday, April 08, 2006
5:02 PM
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No1 messing up my room again.
No1 fights for space on my bed again.
No1 fights to use the comp with me.
No1 to piss me off.
No1 makes me do things for him.
No1 ard to cheer me up like he does.
No more planning of outings with U.. so U wont b bored.
No more fun n laughters in the room.
No more noise.
No more hugs n kisses.
No more Pressence of U.
Missing him badly already.
Was lookin at the video I made for him on V day.. during the 1st 3 weeks when I was alone here. Really miss the days he was here. Who else can make me laugh n cry at the same time? Who else can make me feel tt I'll b safe.. no matter where I am.. as long as he's ard?
It's U.. Gerald.. my Xin boy... Eve's boy.
Rem b4 I 1st came Perth.. the nite b4, we tried not to sleep so much too. Coz I was taking the early flight. Spent the nite at his hse. Went back only at 5+am. Gt scolded from my parents for being hm late.
Today.. I didnt shed as much tears as I did b4 already. I know I'll b back at the airport. The next time I'm there again, it's either to pick my sis up or to leave for Sg.
His mum called me.. juz to ask how am I. It was sweet. Coz I needed sumbody. But when they tok to me, it was only making me feel like crying all over again. He's on the plane now.. I hope he lands soon. Den I can once again talk to him on webcam. I havent been using the starhub websms for sumtime alrdy. It was always used to sms him... Time to start again. Getting use to life alone again.
I cant forget to water the roses anymore.. I gt to b able to remove worms from the pot on my own now too. Coz he wont b ard to help me anymore.
Time to catch up with my work. Gd thing is.. next week is just 1 more week of sch n there's 2 weeks of easter break. I'm always glad to have a hol. Gt lots of topics I dun understd. Some more lab reports to complete..
Dear...
we just had a very fun nite last nite.. played blind mice with Cal. We even played hide n seek some weeks back.. n sum card games tt caused me n Cal to receive "warning letters" from the landlord! Hah! U r always up to some crazy ideas. Comes out with stupid actions and surprises. U bully me.. n pampers me at the same time. We're not goin to have such fun times for a long time alrdy. And I'm so gonna miss it.
See U in June.
Lovin & Missin U lots!
Adjusting to this life all over again. Will be fine soon. Will tolerate n control til I see U again. Till I am home..
you make my life perfect-`
Thursday, April 06, 2006
8:07 PM
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Too cold... too sad.
Have frens.. but still lonely.
Have sch... but I'm just a stupid ger... so hard for me to cope. Nobody can help me.. Nobody will help me.
Have a "home" ( a shelter)... but home's not here.
Have fun... but r they real?
Have feelings.. feels sad, feels confused, feels frustrated, feels alone.... but is there any1 there?
I'm missing so much... All the people back in Singapore.
My happiness is at HoMe. Singapore.. where my frens n family are.
Mum... I wan to go home..
I'm sorry tt I forgt to wish u Happy Birthday yesterday. But I do rem it's ur birthday.
Pardon me for my emo.. Had a bad day at sch. During lab.. I felt so left out. Hard to explain. But I dont wan to sound so pitiful too. When I talk to them.. sometimes, they just ignore me. Dun understd the attitude. Dun wan any1 to pity me. But I am really so much weaker than I seem. I have to pretend tt I am so fine.. coz nobody can help me.. dunwan any1 to worry for me.
Pray hard and wish tt all these r only temporaily.
In search for relief.. the calmness n peace.
you make my life perfect-`
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
8:48 PM
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Gosh.. I know it was a long time since I last updated my blog. But I didnt expect it to be a mth alrdy. Been so long.. so many things happened. But actually nothing much at the same time.
Since my last blog..
I picked Gerald n Bro n bro's gf from the airport.. they took 1 hr+ to get out.. gt me freaking pissed too. I was too impatient. Brought them ard.. had much food, fun n went ard places to tour. I was like a tourist myself too. I planned much things for them.. where to go.. wat time to meet... read the directory for them too. But I still gt every1 lost sumwhere on the road.
It was quite a relief when his bro left. Den I could study more.. n not feel so guilty.
Hmmm.... I can smell my Peppermint tea leaves from here. It's really refeshin to my nose. Feel in LoVe with peppermint tea years back.. mayb 3? Yea... when I was out with OI frens. Tried it.. it was so nice. I LoVe peppermint all along. But didnt know abt peppermint tea den. When I had my 1st try to peppermint? Not too sure.
During 1 of the nites... was goin out fishing with Jeri n her bf, we went to Lil' Creatures. It's this like.. beer brewery restuarant. Sweet beer... 1st time I tried it too. Prob the only beer I like so far. Was cold tt nite.. had Peppermint Tea. Yums!! It came in a tiny pot, a sieve, a cup n saucer n a small bowl of honey. Honey n Peppermint... both my fav. Wat a combi!
Went down to Kakula Brothers yesterday. It's a shop selling all the spices n nuts... blahz... Was there to buy nuts back for Gerald's family, My aunt n Mum. There... I saw peppermint tea leaves! It was like $9.95/kg. How heavy can leaves be?? I took like 2 big scoops of it.. n there were only nearly 200 g. Tt's 2 bucks only.. a big bag of it. Gt another 100 g for hm.. so they can try it too. It felt like.. I picked up some treasure of wat.. Hah. Pardon me.. I'm a super great fan of Peppermint. *grins* It's like air refreshner to me too. So I put them in the room... when weather's cold, brew some of it n it becomes really lovely.
Talking abt cold... yup.. it's cold already. Temp's like average 22 degrees in the day now. Autumn already. Summer was like over for 2 weeks already. The nite sumtimes gets too cold.. Dun like. Oh.. talking about tt... I'll need to get a heater soon.
Been here nearly 2 mths already... know how to get to places where I was 1st brought during the 1st week. Better at buses n their timings already. Went down to Universal Fish market with Gerald on Mon... to get out monthly fish supply. We only buy our fish like once in 1 to 2 mths. They r frozen.. so can keep longer.
Nth impressive I've achieve so far. Except being alone for 2 mths. But it's so much better when Gerald's here. I still feel emo.. Feels cold. He's here, there's warmth n less loneliness.
I still cries quite abit. He's ard.. I still cry. Damn bad.. feel v lonely here. Dun really like it here sometimes. Cant really trust anybody. I acted stronger than I really am.. infront of my parents, calynn, new frens.. even Gerald. Seriously... I'm very worried for my exams. There's nobody with me too. All my frens.. either studies alone or last min study. Calynn's lucky.. so gt a bunch of ppl who she can study together with. They may b tt kind who juz keeps studying. But I guess... the point I came here was oso just for tt.
The 1st hk ger i knew here... feel tt she's giving me attitude now. Ask her anything.. she oso wont ans me to the point or look at me in the eye. Arghh... Hk ppl gives me real bad impression of them... 1st is a certain guy.. next, Angela (Gerald's ex). She sounds damn sweet n nice.. tellin me once tt she wont ask him back. Next moment, keep pestering him to get him back. Hypocrite!
Pardon me... I complains!
Tt's y I dun like it here.. there's nobody with me. No1 to help me with my studies... I'm not a smart ger at all. I always need help in sch work. Even calynn.. oso takes advantage of me now. Gerald's here.. she dun need food, Gerald will also need. So do I. So somehow I have to cook.. no matter wat. It's just cookin another person. But from tt.. I've been cooking n washing for the past 2 days. Tmr too..
I've been using "Gerald" now. Previously, I always used "him". Regconising him more now... Last time, he hurt me so much.. due to tt Angela. Gosh.. watever. The past!
He treats me much better now.. buys me stuff.. gives me companionship.. pampers me alot.
But watever tt's gd to me.. gd for me.. only in Sg now.
I really miss hm alot. Wan to get hm soon. Dun like being alone here... old fren, havin new, forgets old. New frens, cant trust them. I really need ppl to help me in my schwork. tt's the only thing I'm worried abt now... Hope I can cope with all.
Kalis Fish & Chips.. their 2nd day in Perth
Indian Ocean waters behind
The rare white peacock... found at Cohunu Koala Park
The keep-tacking-along-with-us pony. Looks clean from here.. but he's so dirty!
The birds n animals run wild. Love the ducks!
Pot of roses he bought for me from Curtin.
Love this pic
Statue Kangeroos & park in the City
Rottnest Island. Like how sentosa is linked to Sg. But there.. much lesser things. Juz real gd views. Very very windy.
Just another beach in Rottnest.
The "entrance" to the island.
My 1st fish ever caught.. with Gerald's fishing rod! But dont think can be eaten. Heh
Snorkeling kit.. "Full" gear
This guy is talented! He use sprays n pp to form the picture. Beautiful!
This white blowing flower is so big! Dun find such big blowing flowers in Sg.
So sweet!
Heard Mum say tt Sis will be coming over to study next yr.. to get her Masters. Not confirm thou.
Might be going home this June.. Gerald's mum offer to pay for me. How generous! I'm really glad.. coz I miss hm so badly. I wan exams to be over soon... n be hm soon. Gerald's going back this sat already. More tears will flow...
you make my life perfect-`