Friday, July 14, 2006
12:19 AM
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K.... Wad's new?? Too much.
Since previous blog entry... bad things havent stop coming in. Exam results & abt Gerald esp. Exam results... BAD BAD BAD. Shall nt comment further... coz I dun even wan to think abt it!
As for Gerald... after his exams on Fri, I thought I could at last have more fun with him. End up, On Fri nite, he's been feeling feverish & we thought tt he could b fine by the end of the weekends. I accompanied him thru out. Then, I found some pimple/ bubbles looking pop-out stuff on his body. Asked his Mum on Sun nite.. she exclaims " They look like chicken pox!". Great... wad's next? When I could at last have juz tt lil bit of fun, 2 weeks fun, all gone in 1 nite & a sentence. He saw the Doc the next morning... n confirmed his "disease".
CRYS!
So... I've been bored. Real bored. Havent been out since Sun... after my shoppin trip with my Sis on Sat. But tt shopping was good anw. Made me feel gd. I LOVE SHOPPING. More shopping tmr n on Sat probably. Wan to do many things with Gerald... Now all cant. Only hope is tt he can get well by mid next week & we can go out. So... juz shopping for now.
I dread to go back to Perth. I dun like sch... coz I've gt no frens. U know how young kids dislike sch? N some love it so much. Frankly speaking, I do have frens. But I dont like ppl in sch mostly. Alot of hypocrites, fakes, pretends... back-stabbers? If u consider certain minor events. Ah.. kaisu ppl, super hardworking till nt helpful. Ppl who can do well but keep complaining tt they r going to fail. YESH! If u r 1 of the above mentioned, BIG SLAP from ME!
There r so much incidents tt happen to me there.. whic I did nt mention & did nt wan to tell any1 much abt it till Now. I thought I could get thru it. But I realised how much it affected me. I tried to blend in. Tried to get favour... but sincerely & being truthful. Having tt NAIVE thought tt U r nice to ppl, they too will b nice to u over time. But NO. There r juz 2 ppl I greatly thank for when I was in Perth.. they 2 helped me in studies, coping in sch. Jay from Kenya & Jean-paul from Seychelles. Nt always teaching me things thou. But when I am unsure abt certain sch work, they r always helping me with it. I was of coz very embarrassed. Esp towards Jay.. when he helped me so much with my lab reports. The other ppl who I ever sought help from, mainly Asians, they always gave me v brief ans. Expecting me to know wad they meant. But I think they forgt 1 thing... I am new to Curtin. New to the system. New to the country. I am to live here for the next 2 yrs. I came with nobody with me. But them, they all been in Perth or at least a yr or 2. They all have their family in Perth or bf/gf. Some1 close to them.. who they can go to anytime. But ME? I am totally new & alone.
Something they dun understd & duno how to feel to b left all alone in a foreign land. They might have been thru wad I am going thru now... but none was helpful. Esp the Asians. U know how terrible it is? When u thought u can find comfort in Asians.. coz we r the same race. But actually not! They r all to themselves & selfish. Those who help me most, r nt ppl I hanged out with the most. And they r nt my own race too. Yes... I believe in equallity in gender/race/religion/nationality. But I also feel tt ur own countryman, u will feel closer & more helpful to each other in a way.. since we r all away fr HOME? Tt thinking is all wrong. Facin the reality.. I am. Tt the world is realistic. People r selfish.
Nice ppl r force to b mean n wary of the surroundings. Due to the "realistic" world all of us have to face. So they cant surface at all. Me alone making this comment. But I know I have to b hypocritical too. BE NICE to some1 who gives me attitude all the time & I know is being hypocritical to me.
I dun dislike Perth. But I am nt enjoying my stay there. I thought my experience could b like my Sis' 2 yrs back.. or even better. But things turn out to b worse. Much worse. How much I feel liek giving up, I have to go on. Giving up, it's easy. But I would lose much more (money spent, the 1/4 sch life gone, my driving licence nt completed). If I dun give up, road ahead will b tough I know. But at least I wont lose tt much. I might b able to gain abit more.
What dun kill me, will make me stronger.
Next sem onwards... I have to make my point. I cant trust any1 so easily. Dun try to get into gd books with fake ppl.
Lecturers shall b my fren. Curtin shall b my 2nd hm in Perth. Books & studies & schwork shall b my playmate. Exams & results shall b my enemy. Coz I have to conquer it all!
you make my life perfect-`