Tuesday, April 25, 2006
5:57 PM
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Been diving yest & today. Just the training I mean. Yest wasnt gd. Gt headache after the 1st part of the training. After the break, back to the training in the pool. It just some sort disappear... or mayb.. coz I was too concentrated in doin other things in there. I dislike tt mask clearing thing. When u have to fill up mask all with water. Den blowing bubbles into it again to push the water out. I dun like being blind in the water. When swimming.. I'll juz go back up the surface. But in dive, I've to remain under all along. And when the whole thing was over, headache comes back all over again. Nt gd. Made me felt so sick, so cold.. felt like puking. Dun feel lik eating dinner.. Tt lil panadol I took didnt work much too.
Till...
I had a really bad cry. He made me cry. We quarrelled... rather badly. He scolded me on many things. Things tt he didnt wan to tell me b4.. afraid tt I'll b upset. But he dun realise.. this time it's 10 times the blow.. of each thing tt I did whic he was unhappy with. He had nv scolded me tt badly b4. Nth whic lasted this long.. this hurting. There's a scar alrdy. All along.. he was different to me.. different fr other guys. Tt scolding... those complains.. is no different fr a typical guy. I admit.. I'm bad too. If I wasnt the one who started it all... none of it will happen. But he was given the chance to tell me b4 hand.. i asked him to.. But... THEN.. He had no complains..? He said nth all along...
This matter reminded me of Sebast.. How me & sebast broke up. Sebast kept everything to himself... n telling me only when he couldnt take it.. didnt like it. He put all the blame on me.. but I know.. he was being "flower-hearted" too. Attention fr a girl.. change all his feel for me. Watever.. doesnt matter anymore.. nt at all.
Darling... I know u've apologised.. U felt bad I guess. U werent kind. U know it. I forgave u abt it alrdy... ever since last nite. But I need time to forget. It hurts.. really. If nt for last nite, I would have nv tot u would react this way to me. I'm fine.. as long as we both still wan each other in our lifes. At least... we still think alike.
Alritey..
Today's dive training. Good! No headaches... N I could clear my mask alrdy! yeah... All fine n gd. More relax & fun too. The equipments r really heavy. Wet suits r too tight.. difficult to wear it up. But it was much better & easier today. Looking forward to the real dive on Thurs!
Hmmm... so much work to clear now. Lab reports... n so much studying. The whole hols.. I practically touched nth. Damn!
Got to b hardworking leh...
PS: The headache.. scientifically proven tt crying does help cure headache. Hmm.. forgt where I gt tt info from. But it works on me. =)
you make my life perfect-`